Howdy to you all out there in bondageland.
Its been a month since I last posted anything as my mother had come over from Australia to see me. And I have to say its been a bit of a nightmare.
Her side of the family come originally from Cornwall, and went to Adelaide in the 1830's where there is a contingent of Cornish worked tin mines. So it was her wish to see Cornwall. Peter asked what part of Cornwall they came from, and she never had a clue! It was his intention to try to take her there.
Now my mother, bless her, lied through her teeth that she was more able bodied than she is at 74. She said she was doing all this aerobic exercises every couple of days with the women at her home. (She is in a sheltered housing area in case of emergencies, but leads her own life when she wants to.) Then she tells us that all she had been doing was sitting and watch TV for the last 8 months!
We had to get her a wheely-walker thingy, with a little seat in it, so she could push herself around and she could sit down if she needed to rest.
Mind you when she wanted to, she could easily walk.
Peter went mad. Cornwall isn't the flattest of counties to take her to. Bang went our Cornish holiday of cliff top walks to see sunrises and sunsets, to that of dropping mum off in town somewhere and then finding a parking space somewhere that was usually quite away from the centre of things. Polperro and Clovelly in Devon aren't exactly made for cars. We would never have gone there with her like this, but it was all booked so that was that.
Yep it sounds like we are selfish bastards I know, but when you are sitting in Rick Steins restaurant having great fish and a nice bottle of wine and mum had the same sour faced expression on her face like she was chewing a wasp all the time, it became exasperating.
Anyway Peter reckoned it was all my fault, so one night with mum in the next room he tied me spread-eagled to the bed and teased me to an inch of my life with a vibrator and his fingers trying to make me shouted out in orgasm and wake mum up.
I didn't even know he packed some of our kinky stuff. I resisted but it was a very close run thing I have to say. Anyway. That would probably have done for her, as we have never discussed sex at all, ever in our lives. Does she even know I have sex?!?
Anyway things were a little fraught with tension when we got home from Cornwall. GRR.
The next outing we had booked, was to take her to Bruge.
Peter had resigned himself to just sitting in the main square and drinking himself through the beer menu at a little bar we know that has 100 beers on the list.(There is a place with a 1000!). Mum started off slowly, but got into it. It was one of the places she and I missed when we toured Europe several years ago now. We had missed the connecting bus and had to join up with the party in Amsterdam, but that's another story. We wanted to show her the place as it has a wide aray of buildings dating from the 14-18th centuries.
After getting used to the cobbled streets she was wizzing around the place seeing the sights. Peter only had one beer, and mum still had the hangdog expression on her face. The only thing she had to say about it was it had some nice buildings! I love Europe for the whole package, great buildings old and new, differing cultures to see and experience. The oldest buildings in Australia are only a couple of hundred years old. Some are shacks with tin roofs, some are the forts and the great colonial buildings and barracks to hold the soldiers and convicts built by convict labour.
I guess I was disappointed she wasnt more awe inspired. She never was on the trip years ago and she certainly wasnt this time. GRRR.
I thought it was just the younger Australians these days have this Japanese style of holidaying mentality, ie getting off a bus being snapped in front of the place they visit, then back on the bus to see the next place, with out stopping to appreciate anything.
Next came Shropshire. We only had a few days up there as one day we had to take out to go to a funeral in Chester. Mum only seemed happy sitting in front of the TV, until in desperation I suggested an evening at a local casino. Never seen her happier! There was us bending over backwards to show her a thousand years of culture crammed into a few weeks and she was happiest gambling away her cash on the fruit machines. GRRRR.
We were really tempted to crate her and her wheely thingy up and ship her back like this!
Anyway the house is back to normal again now, and we can finally ween ourselves off the valium at last.