Oh Christmas Tree . . . Oh Christmas Tree . . .

Here is one hot Christmas tree you can leave in the corner and is guaranteed not to shed any needles.

You will need to feed and water over the holiday period though.

Emma xx

Its Christmas . . .

As Noddy said . . . Its Christmas (well almost lol)

Tis the season to be jolly and all that  seasonal tosh.

As you can see I am a bit fed up of listening to Carols in November and the idiot neighbours who put their outdoor lights up in mid November that are left on all day and night so it looks like my house is in a permanent summer, what with the glare shining through my closed bedroom curtains.

Don't panic. I do get into the spirit closer to the time. It usually involves fisting a turkey and beating the shit out of the stuffing before applying to said fisted turkey arse. Pushing herby butter under its skin and covering in Bacon before tying it up and wrapping it in foil and adding a little heat to the occasion.  Then I go to bed and cook it on 90 degrees for 10 to twelve hours (depending on its size pound per hour) after first cooking it uncovered on full blast for an hour before I turn the oven down. 

I don't want to hear that this sounds very unsafe as the bird always comes out moist and I use a thermometer to make sure everything at the thickest part is over 65 degrees centigrade to kill off any germs. Oh. And I haven't died or gotten food poisoning and any other nasty shit like salmonella.

Okay to be fair I would much rather be playing "presents" under the tree like these honeys; just as long as you let me out for the queens speech at three pm and feed me the odd mince pie and a glass of fizz.

Emma xxx

The Pear of Anguish or the Choke Pear

The Pear of Anguish or the Choke Pear is a supposed medieval torture device used on women should they have induced a miscarriage; homosexuals; or for liars and blasphemers.

The reason I say supposed is the device itself. It twists, opening the four leaves stretching open the vagina or anal passage. The device has been questioned in its validity due to the complexity of the work to make it. Whether it was really made in the medieval times of the middle ages or much later in the sixteen hundreds still has the experts in dispute. Some experts also suspect the folding parts of the mechanism of the early devices would not have been strong enough not to break in its usage.

Liars and blasphemers would have had the devise placed in the mouth and opened causing intense pain in the jaw. 

The device would never have been washed so a considerable amount of infection would have taken place. The leaves of the device may have had spiked ends or flared outwards, causing the ripping and rupturing of the anal and vaginal cavities.  The device would not have killed you out right, but the victims would have died in agony over several days.

Here endeth the history lesson;  so  enjoy the bondage!
In next weeks lesson we will discuss the rack.
Emma xxx

Stocks and Pillorys

These pictures are mostly of the Pillory, A medieval device where the head and the arms are sandwiched between two planks of wood.

 

Stocks are the device where you sit down and your legs are placed between the two planks. 

The residents of your village would make fun of you and throw rotten food at you at best and the odd turd or two at the worst. The act of humiliation made you more likely not to commit a crime. That and a death sentence for so much as stealing a handkerchief. 

Eventually the powers that be decided to populate Australia because George the Third and his armies had lost the American colonies.The death sentence was revoked for certain crimes and criminals were shipped down to Terra Australis the great southern land.

Australia, was a mathematical anomaly at the time unproved, but mathematicians thought had to be there to counteract the weight of the world and all the land mass in the northern hemisphere. 

Here endeth the history lesson;  so  enjoy the bondage!

In next weeks lesson we will discuss the pear. 

Emma 

Happy Halloween.

I happen to love this time of year. The nights getting dark and the weather changing but not quite cold enough to have to hibernate lol The colours of Autumn with the leaves changing from green to russets and gold. It was a miss-spent youth going trick and treating when I lived for a time as a kid in Canada.  Have a safe and Happy Halloween. 

Emma xx

Madam Bathory

Madam Bathory was a Hungarian land owner related to many of the eastern European royal families.

She may have been epileptic and a treatment for this was to rub blood into the lips as a cure. 

Later in life she reportedly killed up to 650 people in her lust for blood. Some say this was a reaction of trying to cure her illness.

Due to her royal connections, when she was found guilty for these murders and the torturing of her victims, was to escape execution. She was taken and imprisoned in a windowless room in Čachtice Castle in solitary confinement for the last 4 years of her life before dying in 1614.

The suite of rooms she was kept imprisoned had the entrance bricked up, leaving her only a small opening for air and the passing her food and drink. 

Some view her imprisonment as a political conspiracy with trumped up murder charges because she was protestant and not catholic like most of the European royalty at the time. Another reason might have been her wealth inherited from her husband and human greed for her money and estates, . 

Her supposed actions of cruelty and blood lust gave her the name of Countess Dracula with a comparison to Vlad the Impailer and her reputation brought further legend of bathing in the blood of her victims and a spate of horror films about her. Although there is no evidence of her doing so, some say she and Vlad had inspired Bram Stoker to write the novel Dracula  

Now back to the good stuff. Here are some great pictures from a website of a similar name to hers.

Emma