This Blog contains themes and discussions of an adult nature!


You can find me at emmasbound@yahoo.co.uk
I finally embraced technology and joined Twitter @99emmabound99

Please note, my blog contains themes and discussions of an adult nature. If you are easily offended by that please do not read any further!

Emma

Friday 20 December 2019

Oh Christmas Tree . . . Oh Christmas Tree . . .





Here is one hot Christmas tree you can leave in the corner and is guaranteed not to shed any needles.
You will need to feed and water over the holiday period though.

Emma xx


Sunday 15 December 2019

Its Christmas . . .






As Noddy said . . . Its Christmas (well almost lol)

Tis the season to be jolly and all that  seasonal tosh.

As you can see I am a bit fed up of listening to Carols in November and the idiot neighbours who put their outdoor lights up in mid November that are left on all day and night so it looks like my house is in a permanent summer, what with the glare shining through my closed bedroom curtains.

Don't panic. I do get into the spirit closer to the time. It usually involves fisting a turkey and beating the shit out of the stuffing before applying to said fisted turkey arse. Pushing herby butter under its skin and covering in Bacon before tying it up and wrapping it in foil and adding a little heat to the occasion.  Then I go to bed and cook it on 90 degrees for 10 to twelve hours (depending on its size pound per hour) after first cooking it uncovered on full blast for an hour before I turn the oven down. 

I don't want to hear that this sounds very unsafe as the bird always comes out moist and I use a thermometer to make sure everything at the thickest part is over 65 degrees centigrade to kill off any germs. Oh. And I haven't died or gotten food poisoning and any other nasty shit like salmonella.

Okay to be fair I would much rather be playing "presents" under the tree like these honeys; just as long as you let me out for the queens speech at three pm and feed me the odd mince pie and a glass of fizz.

Emma xxx